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The idea of dating or marrying a Chinese man never really crossed my mind before I first came to China in 1999.That’s probably the last thing you expected to hear from a woman known for writing and blogging about her marriage to a Chinese man, but it’s true.By the time I met Jun in 2002, I had already imagined a Chinese husband in my future.After all, I had never felt more alive anywhere than in China, a country that ignited my passion for foreign languages and writing.

Yet as Yao and I spent more time together, I realized that I loved him deeply – and that he reciprocated my feelings.It was as if the universe decreed that there was a racial and cultural line that I was never meant to cross if I wanted to find love.But a little over a month after settling into Zhengzhou, China, Yao came into my life, a Chinese version of James Dean dressed in a black leather jacket.When I think back to the months I spent in preparation for that year of teaching English in Zhengzhou, I draw a blank on Chinese men, apart from one simple thing.I assumed they weren’t dating material for me, and I wasn’t alone.

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