Washington post dating

In an effort to preserve sanity, I discovered very early that what is good and beautiful about me doesn’t require external validation.If someone doesn’t “match” with me (online or in real life), it doesn’t mean I’m less valuable.My eye color isn’t interesting, and my hair is always feral.I’m not ugly, but I don’t have much beauty privilege (and make no mistake, beauty privilege yields tangible rewards).He writes: Gender and race are social constructs to a great degree, but not equally so.In particular, gender is more deeply rooted in one’s own mind, while race is more forcibly imposed by the surrounding society.I recognize the strength and sensuality of my curves. I laugh like a drunken sailor, and meet people with an open heart.I worry less about pretense or maintaining some mystique, and if a suitor doesn’t get me, I can chalk it up to math.

To be fair, I’ve also learned this by being a black woman.

While there are hurt feelings and bruised egos, there’s resilience in the acceptance that everyone won’t always want what I am serving.

Make no mistake, beauty is a currency, but it is merely one of many social currencies.

Of course, that’s not a hard and fast distinction, since gender norms are also imposed from outside, and racial identity surely becomes part of one’s internal self-presentation.

Nevertheless, it’s fair to say there is a difference in weighting. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t real as a lived experience in America, and it wasn’t constructed out of thin air.

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