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Many of my French friends – men and women alike – have waited to meet someone special for their first time, didn’t just want to get rid of their virginity, and have never had one night stand.

If sex between consenting adults is very much socially accepted, most French people won’t rush into it, and get to know each other before jumping into bed.

It’s only in American movies that I found out about this “let’s be exclusive” concept.

In France, pretty much once you’ve exchanged a kiss, it’s expected of you to be exclusive: you don’t chase several rabbits at the same time…

Even for a married woman to go out with a male friend who is single: I often travel to Paris by myself, Leyla and Olivier stay in Paimpol, and have dinner with one (or several) of our good male friend(s), single or not.

Olivier trusts me, and we both trust our friend(s), who would never make a pass at me.

So, since there is no dating protocol, French guys have to work hard for it…

They cannot just assume that if the girl accepts to go out with them three times, “c’est dans la poche” (it’s in the pocket, it’s a done deal).

I guess since there is no set protocol, French women are pretty obvious, and often more direct than other women. It’s unlikely they’ll refuse to take it further, but not unheard of.You will know when a French girl is flirting with you: she’ll smile to excess, move her hair a lot, smile at you, blush, laugh hard and loud at your jokes, find occasions to touch your shoulder (or even your knee… and it’s not unlikely that she’ll make the first move. Again, the game is often more important than the catch, even to men. The woman has all the power when it comes to dating. It’s then up to the guy if the company of “la belle” is enough for him, or if the game has lasted long enough – in which case no-one is forcing him to continue to invite her.She decides whether she wants the guy or not, and may need more than one dinner to make up her mind… In any case, there is no obligation nor expectation whatsoever for the woman to do whatever after any number of “rendez-vous galants”.Good luck with your studies and remember, repetition is the key! The country is a mixture of different landscapes, cultures, people and nationalities, all blending together to form a unique mix of expat and local communities.

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