Cyber chat on cam

"People underestimate that trauma because no one talks about it. You have to understand what the person went through and give them the opportunity to let it go.

So that needs to be addressed, preferably with a therapist." For the victim: Don't hang on to the blame game.

"None of us has time to manage our texts and emails, so if I'm finding the time to manage this, there's something typically going wrong."Denial: "If you say, 'You're on your computer a lot,' and they emphatically deny it, that's a sign there could be guilt," he said, "because if they aren't doing something inappropriate they won't really protest."Coping with the problem Is it possible to rebuild a partnership once the trust has been broken?

Therapy is usually needed to address the problem and its fallout.

"People hold on to the bitterness because they become addicted to the bitterness to avoid the pain they feel," Martino said.

"Forgiveness is a choice, it's not mandatory," Rosenberg said.

The experts shared tips for coping with a cyber affair or flirtation, whether you're the culprit or the victim — and obviously, this advice has relevance for anyone dealing with infidelity of any kind: For the victim: Have compassion for yourself, said relationship expert Stacey Martino (loveandpassioncoach.com).

"They're going to be in shock and betrayal, and faced with the fear of having their life turned inside out, wondering how they're going to survive without their partner if things don't get resolved.

"But it's what we do with our marriages all the time.

To me it's a very simple mathematics equation: the more energy that goes (outside the marriage), the less energy goes into your marriage."Remain optimistic. If both parties are willing to work on their issues, anything is fixable.

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