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“They all had some of the same basic answers and universal responses.They all have been in this situation at some point in their lives or have known someone — their sister or their friend — who has dealt with this.” At the time of this interview, Farrar was preparing to present his theories at the ACA Conference in Honolulu in an Education Session titled “Why Winning Women Choose Losers: A Review of the Motivations for Poor Relationship Selection.” He plans to share data collected from more than 300 survey respondents regarding the reasons for their relationship choices. Farrar has analyzed the survey data to pinpoint reasons why women choose negative types of men.Farrar notes that nurturing is the most common strand identified by women in the survey.“There are, of course, many explanations for why women are drawn to this behavioral pattern,” he says.“This strand is, in many ways, more complex and difficult to understand fully than many of the others,” he says.“Its origins may be the most difficult to trace and, in all likelihood, probably has its beginnings in many disparate areas.
Promises of support, affection and protection later generate only neglect, disdain and abandonment.
“While the first two suggest introversion, domesticity and perhaps personal uncertainty, the excitement strand represents a desire on the part of some females to back away from traditionally held values related to dating and mating.
Many women and girls often speak ambiguously when they fit into the excitement strand.
Females who are charming, well educated and successfully employed mysteriously compromising their lives and futures by committing to, for lack of a better word, losers.
“It appears to cross all age, ethnic and socioeconomic lines,” Farrar says.